I’m sorry I don’t tell you everything. I’m sorry I hide things from you. I’m sorry I don’t go to you when I need it most. I told you I just feel like a burden so I do the stupid things I do. I know its a lame excuse but that’s all I can say because its the truth. I hope you can forgive me cause I love you forever and always and to have you even more mad at me would just crush me. I’m sorry…
and i currently miss my bestfriend,. she always makes my bad thoughts go away, but since im up alone its like they thoughts are eating me alive and it makes me sad. ugh my phone recieved her message all late so i took a quick nap and woke up like around 3 something and i’ve been just laying down thinking about crap thats been going on. just the thought of leaving you brings tears to my eyes, i need to be close to you cause you big sister just make everything terrible waaaaay better. you’re extremely important to me& even if i did leave( lets pray that i dont ) i promise nothing will ever change. you’ll still receive morning phone calls to wake you up, you’ll still get late night phone calls so you can sleep (which by the way p.s. im sorry you havent been getting lately ), i’ll still text you all day, everyday, though only thing thats going to change is distance and i swear i’ll definitely try my best to come visit. ugh. big sister you are the reason i smile all the time, the reason i stop crying when i do, the reason why im starting to enjoy life . i know i’ve only known you for just about 2 months but you know more about me than anyone in the universe and i trust& love you with all my heart. honestly to tell you the truth, im beginning to cry thinking about it now. i mean i already hate how whenever your sad i cant be there cause im a couple streets over but to not even been in the same county, its like how do i help you now? i want you to be there through all my highschool years, i want you to be there for my first piercing thats not my ears, i want you to be there for my 1st tattoo,i want you to live in a box in my loft with my ferret & golden retriever, i want you there to grow up with me. i want to do soo much with you. i miss you now and we’re arent even that far apart but can you picture if i did go away? i really would want to cry every night and i’d probably go into a depression. i need you, i really do. i mean who else is gonna listen to me rant about my b’s in math, the retarded boys i encounter, the lame jokes i hear, the random stuff i see, how much i miss you, the sad things that try to consume my mind& about twinkies! and so forth. oh man i need a big hug now cause here come the tears even though i said i wouldnt cry. i love you, KATHY. always& forever because your just that amazing to me.
- Boy: Hey. I was wondering if you wanted to go out with me?
- Girl: Can I see your school schedule?
- Boy: Uh. Sure? Here.
- Girl: Oh okay . I was right.
- Boy: What?
- Girl: We don't have chemistry together. Sorry.
- : ZIIING. Haha I have no life(:
- Friend: Do you know where matter babies live?
- Me: What's a matter baby?
- Friend: Oh, nothing :)
- Me(like one minute later): OH, I GET IT. WHAT'S THE MATTER BABY!
- Friend: Yeah.. haha dumbass.
So this week was so so until today. TODAY WAS AWESOME! I mean big sister made my feel better every hour of the day by saying I love you randomly, did great on my math test!, looked at food almost every period. It was just great. Hung out with my most favorite person in the UNIVERSE, and vented my whole life to her. I’ve never done that to anyone so its amazing plus I love her more than I love twinkies and that’s saying a lot! Haha she makes my day a lot better, I love you bestfriend(: ending the day with my dad/ idk bff jill and he’s always fun and interesting! Great great great day (:
Plus I ate mango mochi ice cream! :D
So everyone is talking about lip piercing so I wanted to talk about it too! Ahah I’m getting mine this summer (: my mom was like all chill about it I love it,
If you get what I mean..
I’m so sorry I can’t be there for you physically when you aren’t well but I just need you to know that I’m here for you always. I feel horrible that I can’t be there for you when your down and blue. I know your stressed and all but you can talk to me about anything that’s on your mind cause I’m your little sister. I love you bestfriend and I want you to be happy so please be happy cause seeing you happy makes me happy. I miss you… Smile please.
Your little sister(:
Lately everyone seems mad or disappointed at me. It makes me sad and want to cry. I feel like a failure, like an outcast, like people don’t want me around anymore. Everyone is starting to keep things from me and I feel untrusted now. Life is just crazy right now.
Its all my fault. I’m such a terrible person. I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry. I’m sorry I forgot about you, I’m sorry I haven’t called you a lot lately big sister because I sleep too much, I’m sorry I can’t be the person you want me to be. I’M SORRY I’M SORRY I’M SORRY, OKAY! Why must I feel like crap all the time now? Why do I feel like I’m not good enough? Why can’t I be happy? Is that hard to ask for, to be happy? I need a hug badly..